haRd HARDER

it's hard not to have any expectation, and even harder when the actual condition does not meet the expectation.. i've been telling myself not to have this feeling, not to have that kind of expectation, not to be carried away.. but yet, i did not succeed, as i always do.. huhu..

i do hope that i can pull myself back in.. :(

+ positive & negative -

these past few days, i keep on thinking about what i have now.. ade positif, ade negatif.. the negative ones came across first actually.. i won't share yg negatif tu, what i want to share is the positive ones..

pesen sy ni, bile pikir negatif, sy akn cube utk neutralkn blik dgn pikir bnde yg positif, just to ease myself.. looking back at the moments when i was younger(chewahh.. cm dh tua sgt), sy jnis yg sgt xkisah sekeliling.. msuk kolej, i tend to do my own thing.. blaja kt hall kt meja study, sdangkn member len tgh borak kt meja mkn.. smpaikn ade satu mase, ade sorg member sy ni missed call sy, semate2 sbb nk gurau, nk cube ajak sy join the group, tp sy yg xberapa nk mesra alam ni, tngok hp, pstu letak blik, tanpa pndang pn member2 kt meja makan tu.. tu la tahap ketaksensitifan sy time tu.. hehe..

as time flew, i learnt many new things, and one of those is adapting in new environment is a must.. bukan bmaksud mengubah dri kita, tp menyesuaikan dri setakat yg kite mmpu.. and i m still trying actually, Alhamdulillah, ade progres nampaknye.. hihi..

perkongsian kte pd ari ni xsmpat abih, sbbnye it's almost 5.. i need to perform my asar prayer, and get back home to my lil hero.. my hubby is on his way home from attending a seminar in kl, yeay! InsyaAllah he'll arrive tonight at 8.. :)

THOSE WERE THE DAYS

This was posted on Jan 7, 2010



~ depressed ~
being d youngest daughter in my family does give me many advantages.. but when it comes to my wedding, i feel like i'm neglected by my siblings.. **i'm disappointed.. really2..**





~ trying to hold on.. ~
i hav about 2 more weeks before my big day.. tp preparation mcm xmjadi sgt.. everything seems to b really challenging.. mule2 nk sewa bju sanding, but then my parents won't let me wear sumtin yg dedah2 n cekci2 sgt, n i couldn't find a bju yg menepati citarasa aku.. the final decision is dat: buy d ken.. tgh ari td g jakel, bli ken.. sok nta tailor.. mcm katun pn de gk.. hehe.. aku rse aku la bakal pengantin yg paling sempoi.. entah la.. aku pn cm kdg2 rse risau, n kdg2 rse cm nk bg je bnde ni jlan.. klu ok, Alhamdulillah.. but i can't.. dok t'ingat je.. **worried**

{ review }

ari ni ntah nape, terasa mcm nk tngok blog yg lg 1, tp saya lupe pwordnye ape.. then i tred to recall the blog, and then, tadaaaaaa.. dh ble bace.. tp x syok sbb ade 2blog, susah nk manage.. that's why i decided to copy the content into this blog, but haven't started yet.. wait aaaaa.. i'll try nnti2.. :)

hmm.. pg td mse nk dtg sini, i almost met an accident.. everyday, i take +-20 min from my home sweet home to my workplace.. skang ni, jln tu dh ok, jln 2 lanes.. at some parts, die akn jd 3lanes sbb bg laluan utk keta yg buat u-turn.. tibe dkt 1 part ni, ade satu kete viva putih, die dr lane kiri, saya lane tengah, and there was another car on the right lane yg bru je ps buat u-turn.. si viva putih ni,bg signal, trus msuk lane tengah, tanpa tengok cermin sisi pn saya rse, saya hmpir langgar bontot die, tekan brek, sreeeeeeeeeeeeeeettttttttt bunyi.. huh! xpuas ati btol.. nsib smpat brek.. pastu saya usha die, ble die usha saya blik.. the driver was a woman, and there was a man beside her at the passenger's seat.. saya potong die, pstu saya smpat tngok gune cermin pndang blakang, she took the right lane, and drove with a speed of 40km/h saya rase.. berbijik2 kete yg potong si viva ni gune lane kiri.. i do think that org mcm ni, menyumbang kpd kemalangan jgak w/pon org kata bwak slow lg elok dr bwak laju.. slow btempat la.. klu nk slow, dok belah kiri, org pn xmarah.. saya pn skang ni cuba nak bhemah d jalanraya, dh x speeding sgt cam dlu2.. klu saya slow, saya akn cube utk bg laluan pd kete yg lg laju.. tolerate, tu je snanye..

it's march 2012, and this is my 1st post this year! hah, sgt suke btangguh.. 2011 went well for me.. 2012, hopefully it will be better.. last year, abi, me & aqim went for a trip, from kl to putrajaya to kedah to perak to jerteh and then to our hometown, ganu kite.. the trip was a family trip actually, ma&ayah&moksu&ayohcik yg sgt sporting.. singgah menyinggah di umah adik beradik, sgt happening.. i'll post the pics some other time (lg btangguh, the pics are not with me rite now)..

oh, and aqim celebrated his 1st bday three times: 1) on 28/12/11 at maklong&ayahlong's place with a requested non-chocolate cake from maklong-blueberry cheese cake, 2) on 31/12/11 at a hotel in jerteh due to heavy rain on our way home with makann tapau yg lupe nk ambik sudu and tpaksa mkn guna sudu susu aqim hehe & ade bunga api la mlm tu, special weyh, 3) on 5/1/12 at aqim's aduhai sayang nursery with a choc cake made by kak diah, dadih made by ummi(it's me!) & kudap2an utk anak2 nursery packed with the help of abi & ade sesetengahnya sponsored by acik mas(thank u, thun dpn taja lg k) & kueytiaw made by ibu2 angkat aqim:liza, nurul, pn aisyah & nija.. sume abih, Alhamdulillah..

this year, i'm planning to be consistent in what i do & try my best to be a hot wifey super mommy!! (credit to u, darl) and also a great teacher hafizah(GTH!!).. hehhe.. i'll try to post pics k.. profile pic tu dh x valid.. heheh..

?

if only i did this better.. if only i can be like her.. if only.. if only..
sejujurnya, kebelakangan ni, ade beberapa kali tdetik dlm ati bnde2 cmni.. sometimes, it makes me feel as if i am not grateful for what i have.. Ya Allah, jauhkanlah hatiku dr perasaan ini..

~2 yrs~

it's been 2 yrs, and here i am.. being blessed with a loving husband and an adorable son.. apa kbaikan yg saya dh lakukan sehingga saya dirahmati sebegini rupa oleh Allah Yang Maha Esa? soalan yg salah! Allah tidak pernah pilih kasih thadap umatNya, kita yg slalu pilih kasih thadap Dia..

sejujurnya, saya lupa kewujudan blog saya ini sehinggalah saya tergerak hati utk membuka kembali email saya yg lama.. Ya Allah, memang saya btol2 lupa sehinggakan saya telahpun mbuka satu lagi blog baru, yg mne agk lme juga saya tglkan.. nape saya ble tergerak hati? do not ask me that, because i don't have the answer either.. mgkin utk mengingatkn saya ttg dri saya yg sebenarnya..

dan sejujurnya juga, saya bru mbaca komen yg sahabat saya hantar 2 thun yg lepas.. hahha.. i was smiling alone while reading her msg.. thanks darl.. :)

and my azam is, to blog myself here, at least to make myself at ease.. so hafizah jaiyidah, pls b consistent.. cayo chaiyokkkk!!